What was your reaction when Robin Williams Died? Sadness, scared, numbness…
I personally got very emotional.. And not because I am this crazy fan that adored this man. I of coarse did and will always adore this man, he was a very talented and amazing man who had so much to come in his life but the addiction of drugs and the ache of depression took him away.
When I read the tweet of my cousin ( I receive her tweets via text message) and read the surprising news, realization hit me like a storm. Depression and drugs can take you to that dark hole and make you do things that you should not happen; I then thought of my friend.
My friend who is younger than me; is reaching that dark hole and it scares us all that he will do something that will makes us break. Having such a sensitive personality and using the substances that break him even more makes it even more scary and fearful that one day we will find him buried in that dark hole and is unable to move.
We are seeing those changes in his body, thin, dark circle under the eyes, twitching an other disgusting habits that they do.
We have tried to pull him out and break the brick wall that he carries around him that makes it hard for us to get through. To have him listen that what he is doing is killing us all.
I Show up at places pretending to have a perfect little world but instead my life is cracking not only am I struggling in my on path in life. (which seems pathetic considering that my struggles are nothing compare to his) I see the others around me that are trying to find ways to make things better for him but somehow don’t go in to his brain. We don’t know what else to do but find ways to make his life from being in hell to being in a good non heaven but non hell of a world.
I don’t know how ppl do it. How they can see their friend and family break that way and no try to push them to a better place. I struggle so much to be nice and no be a total bitch but my personality kicks in and I can’t help myself but be angry and yell for reasons that have no meaning.
I do ask that if anybody that is reading this and is going through the same struggles, don’t let depression and sadness over take you be strong and find ways to pull that person from the hole and have them see the light. Be strong and know that you are not alone, we all somehow deal with this.
One of the hardest things is choosing your own path in life. I have made a decision myself that I no longer want to continue studying the program I am in. Instead I want to pursue my passion and my desires. But i do not know how to approach this to the parents. They have such high expectations from me and yet they don’t understand what happiness really is when it come to the choices you make in a career. I am the type of person that has to please them first before pleasing myself and that is BAD.
This is a choice that will make your future and maybe you will have your ups and drowns but don’t let others get in the way, I am terrible at following my own advice but I have hit a breaking point where I am tired of doing things for them when it is my life and not theirs, my choices and not theirs, my path and not theirs,
Follow your desires, passion, and dreams DONT let others put you down and most definitely don’t let your parents choose for you because that is not the right thing to do, you need to work your ass off to do what you want and not what they want.
The one thing you don’t want is having a degree that you are not satisfied with and instead you are stuck standing wondering, “what the hell do I do now?” Instead you should be on quest finding that job you have always dreamt of and say, ” come on degree lets go get an adventure!!”
All I am trying to tell you or myself and do what you want whether is a teacher, singer, dancer ( but the good kind :)), designer, whatever the career you want do it, don’t let your parents or anyone in the way. I did and look where that got writing about my breaking points and not knowing what the hell am I going to do to let that boulder of my shoulder.
Co-workers and i were lucky enough to get a free showing of #CaptainAmerica ps #amazing!! Thank you Fanzz for this opportunity :))
I am soo talented not only did i ” #draw ” this but gave this awesome #rapper name to the boss !!! Lol “Cash Registah” #grafiti #jk
First book of #2014
#Bloodlines:#TheFieryHeart by #RichelleMead pgs 420 #Book #reading #nerd
Yay!! I finally have their album on itunes :)) #onediection #MidnightMemories #yay #HappyGirl
I have been working at #BathandBodyWorks for almost a month and i have been in so much trouble #coupons #lotion #twilighwoods i luv!
During time out haha oh this was soo fun!!! #Jazz #Pelicans #basketball #NBA
Ohhh yea pretty awesome seats!!! #Jazz #basketball #NBA #fun
#Jazz(111) vs #Pelicans(105) ohhh yea and #Jazz won woohoo #yay #basketball #NBA